"Ego diligo vos, you are so special, you're..." She was wasting breath right now. But Cross just didn't have the courage to stop her. "You are meant..." She tried to breathe, but instead she coughed, red running down the corner of her mouth. "For so much more than this." Then, as if her time was up, she took her hand off of the gaping wound in her chest, and closed her eyes. Her last breath seemed to echo the room.
Reflective Response:
I chose this segment because it's based on a nightmare I had, and though it's a small chunk of a much larger story, it stayed true to the dream, and is a big moment in the story. The main character, Cross, watching his mother die is a huge experience for him, though a bad one. With the death of his mother, Cross's standard of living decreases, seemingly along with his emotional capacity.
Rain
Rain rain go away,
Come again another day,
All we want is the world to see the sun,
Rain rain go away,
Go away for every day,
All we want is to have a glimpse of the sun,
We fight here, lie to you,
I can't say I was right with you,
We came and fought with you,
We're so...
Reflective Response:
I chose this excerpt because it's an added emotional twist to everyone's childhood song. I mean who doesn't remember at least once in their life singing "Rain rain go away". If you don't, you're deprived.
There's tinge of sadness in the past here, which I think is (oddly enough) a positive thing for the poem.
Memoir
For the rest of that day, I tried my best to figure out what she's been up to. From what I could keep up with, she built her own computer. She called it the Vector. And it had an amazing processor or whatever. She spoke way too fast, and way to complicated. So I kept nodding my head and saying "awesome". I loved being with her again. It brought some sort of normalcy back into my life. Then came the question, "So, who's this Krystina girl?"
Reflective Response
This little segment was actually part of my English project, I picked this particular moment because it accurately describes Isabella's character, both in the Memoir, and in real life. Also, after this moment Isabella and Krystina teamed up and became best friends. I never stood a chance.
The Santa
A chef crying over spilled milk. You'd think it's not that big of a deal right? Well, usually, it isn't, but for me it is. My name is Kevin Wong, and six months ago, my life was pretty decent. I was head chef at IHOP, and in a rich-town-breakfast-place, my IHOP does pretty well. This one was pretty high class, in one of those rich towns. But see, I made a rookie mistake. A big one; I spilled the mild and it ended up costing me my job and my legs. I'm still a little fuzzy on the details, but I slipped, fell, and apparently I hit my spine at just the right angel, at just the right spot, which created so much wrong in my life.
Reflective Response:
This is funny, in a way. Our parents (well at least mine, once) said "never cry over spilled milk, and because of spilled milk, this guys life changes forever. I also wrote this with Jessica Houston, who is also a good writer. It was interesting working with a partner on a short story, it provided that extra dynamic which I believe actually made this story worth reading. "IS IT OKAY TO CRY NOW MOM?!"
The Edge
To realize I'm no hero,
Guilty as charged,
But you're no saint,
With a face riddled in pain,
We searched for a dream that ended in hell,
We fought a war and I wish I could tell,
How it was a thousand to one,
A million to two
Reflective Response
I like this in a way, because it seems like there's an entire story behind it, and kind of hints towards doing what you need to to get what you want will only screw you over in the end, and leave you with some regret.
I really enjoy your The Santa post. Making spilled milk such a major thing. I also like how your influences are on the side of the page.
ReplyDeleteThe Memoir and the Divide are both extremely good. It seems like excerpts from real books. Well done sir. You could maybe make your font a bit larger though, bit hard to read.
ReplyDeleteThe Santa is an amazing story, just saying! ;D
ReplyDeleteThe Edge is also one that I like alot. It is very deep.
I like the Santa post the best, I agree with Jess and Tiff. It was well written and has a good idea overall.
ReplyDeleteThanks guys! :) I finally fixed my horrid formatting. Sorry about that.
ReplyDelete